Rangers-Capitals Drama Is the Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Hockey, And The NHL Is Wholly At Fault

Ok, here's a subject worth my time.

I don't love hockey, I like hockey, and as such, I am the most important person on the planet to executives of the worst capitalized professional league in major sports.

I played floor hockey in grade school, not on ice, not even on skates. I think I've mentioned before how I chose it over drama club even though I'd had the most speaking lines in the entire school play in my first year eligible to be onstage (rather than the crew). I also dislike basketball, which I find only moderately exciting in the best of times (what is the point of the first 40 minutes of play when the score ends up above 100 points each?), and these are decidedly not the best of times to be a basketball fan.

Between the euro-step and the tissue-paper shooting foul, basketball simply blows right now. Because hockey is on during most of the same season as basketball, however, I have been at least able to find some refuge from garbage TV and breathlessly overdramatized news in a live sport, even if it is not football and certainly not proper footies or baseball.

I have also spent some time living in Silicon Valley before the 49ers moved down there. Until then, San Jose had never had a professional sports team in a top league except for the Sharks, so I know how much hockey matters in middle-sized cities like that. That is why it is so awful that they have so obviously taken clear aim at their own foot, shouted out a clear warning, and then blasted it, right the fuck off.

You actually fucking think I wanna watch this garbage? Not the fights, I could give a fuck about hockey fights, the only thing in sports more pansy-ass than a baseball player starting a fight over a celebration is a hockey player pretending he drops gloves for the purpose of maintaining sporting balance. It is done exclusively because NHL executives do not believe in their own product, because they genuinely believe that, if not for the blood sport, the skill sport would die. The NHL hates hockey.

Notice that I've pretty obviously avoided the comparison to a fight after a hit batsman in baseball. The difference is stark. There is literally no way to differentiate an intentional pegging from a wild throw under certain circumstances. A batter in baseball is, in fact, compelled to establish consequences for hitting him with a pitch on his own, and without regard to real intent. Intentional or not, there must be consequences or it will be open season.

This is not the case on the ice. While, yes, penalties for boarding are sometimes marginal enough to be a judgement call, you cannot effectively lay a hit on another hockey player without physically 'loading up' first, a muscular action that will show up on replay camera, certainly enough to create an atmosphere of deterrence. Since intent can be known, impositional authority is capable of laying consequences, which means that the only reason this behavior continues is because NHL wants it to continue.

But understand. I'm a grown fucking man. Tom Wilson is a fucking pussy. Tom Wilson looks like a fucking pussy to me, flexing like an olympic champion after cheap-shotting two other people, as if any fucking person on the planet could not do what he does. It would be one thing if he were actually talented at something. You do not see me writing blog posts about Brad Marchand.

But Wilson has exactly zero marketable talent or skill. His only use is his complete lack of morality. Even the most feeble effort to enforce consistent safety rules, rules that allowed fighting but disallowed being a cheapshotting little bitch, would put Wilson out of a job within 30 days. He has no purpose, he has no talent and being a fucking no-talent drama-queen is an awful fucking look when I'd much rather be watching sports.

But instead of enforcing consistent rules, NHL is choosing winners. I mean, are you fucking kidding me? The Rangers front office is 100% right and there is not a person on the planet who thinks otherwise. But because it made NHL Execs's dicks feel small to be called out for being stupid when their stupidity puts a client's multi-million dollar investment at risk, the takeaway is that the people who should be in hockey right now are not, and the biggest pussy in major sports not only keeps his job, he feels like he won.

Well, NHL lost. You actually fucking think I want to watch these fights? Every. single. fight. on. ice. takes. the. sport. away. from. me.

Idiots.